Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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