Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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