whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
