You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
