I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
