are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
