I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
