I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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