you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
