I want to have your abortion
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
