Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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