I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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