not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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