I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
