forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
