i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
