I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
