I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
