I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
