1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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