Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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