Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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