I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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