I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
