So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
