My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
