I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
