Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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