gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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