i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
