Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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