I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
