I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
