im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
