i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need moral support for this bender
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
