This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
