Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
