can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
