Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
