Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
