I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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