Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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