she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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