Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
