What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
