The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
