ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
