he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
