How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
