tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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